Backyard Menace - Twist of Lime

Backyard Menace

Don't you dare step into my backyard
'cuz I hired a guy with a long, black cape,
and a body forged of crimson metal plate.
He's known as the Backyard Menace,
and he's waiting 24/7 for you, Dennis.
His prime directive is to keep you out.
Disobey: pay the price. No timeouts.

His glowing eyes can melt the landscape,
cut steel, or cook a sausage-filled crepe.
Each arm is equipped with a deadly laser,
capable of splitting a gnat in half from
from fifty miles away – night or day.
Imagine what will happen to your head
when the Backyard Menace is 5' away.

You've got to ask yourself one question:
'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, Dennis?

What?

Bwa, ha, ha! You crack me up.
He's never heard of Asimov's Laws

Go ahead, punk, put him to the test.
It's your doomsday – be my guest.
Step one foot on the green grass and
hot laser beams will incinerate your ass.
I'm told you will fry in two-seconds flat,
guaranteed or I get my money back.

Vipt! Vipt! Vipt!

And then KABOOM!

There will be nothing left of you Dennis
except for what lands on Jupiter's moons.

A silly poem by Tracy Adams
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