Backyard Menace

Don't you dare step into my backyard
'cuz I hired a guy with a long, black cape,
and a body forged of crimson metal plate.
He's known as the Backyard Menace,
and he's waiting 24/7 for you, Dennis.
His prime directive is to keep you out.
Disobey: pay the price. No timeouts.

His glowing eyes can melt the landscape,
cut steel, or cook a sausage-filled crepe.
Each arm is equipped with a deadly laser,
capable of splitting a gnat in half from
from fifty miles away – night or day.
Imagine what will happen to your head
when the Backyard Menace is 5' away.

You've got to ask yourself one question:
'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, Dennis?


Bwa, ha, ha! You crack me up.
He's never heard of Asimov's Laws

Go ahead, punk, put him to the test.
It's your doomsday – be my guest.
Step one foot on the green grass and
hot laser beams will incinerate your ass.
I'm told you will fry in two-seconds flat,
guaranteed or I get my money back.

Vipt! Vipt! Vipt!

And then KABOOM!

There will be nothing left of you Dennis
except for what lands on Jupiter's moons.

A silly poem by Tracy Adams
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